What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

 

Low self-esteem is the feeling that you’re not good enough, unworthy, or lacking in value. It often stems from negative beliefs about yourself, which may have developed over time, sometimes shaped by past experiences, criticism, or comparisons to others. When self-esteem is low, it can distort the way you see the world, making challenges feel insurmountable and successes seem insignificant.

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You might find yourself doubting your abilities, fearing failure, or constantly seeking validation from others. Perhaps you’re overly critical of yourself, focusing on what you think you lack rather than recognising your strengths. This can lead to patterns like perfectionism, avoidance, or difficulty accepting compliments and kindness from others.

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Having low self-esteem doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It simply means that the way you view yourself has been influenced by messages, experiences, and expectations that may not be entirely accurate. The good news is that self-esteem is not fixed—it can change with time, effort, and self-compassion.

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A key step in building self-esteem is becoming aware of your inner dialogue. How do you speak to yourself? Would you say those same things to a friend? By challenging negative thoughts, practising self-kindness, and celebrating small achievements, you can shift your perspective. Surrounding yourself with supportive people and engaging in activities that bring you joy can also help reinforce a more positive self-view.

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You are more capable and valuable than you might believe. With patience and practice, your self-worth can grow, and you can begin to see yourself with the kindness and respect you deserve.

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How Can Counselling Help?

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Counselling can be incredibly helpful for individuals struggling with low self-esteem. Here are five ways it can help:

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1. Identifying Negative Self-Talk: Counselling helps you become aware of negative self-talk and the critical inner voice that often accompanies low self-esteem. A therapist can work with you to identify these harmful thought patterns and challenge them, replacing them with more positive and realistic self-perceptions.

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2. Exploring Underlying Beliefs and Experiences: Low self-esteem often has roots in past experiences, such as childhood trauma, criticism, or unmet needs. Counselling helps you explore these root causes, allowing you to understand where your feelings of inadequacy come from. Addressing these underlying beliefs is a vital step in healing and building healthier self-worth.

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3. Building Self-Compassion: One of the most important aspects of improving self-esteem is learning self-compassion. Counselling encourages you to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. By cultivating self-compassion, you can reduce self-criticism and learn to accept yourself with all your imperfections.

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4. Setting Realistic Goals and Expectations: Counselling can help you set realistic and achievable goals that support your personal growth and self-confidence. Even small successes can boost your self-esteem. Therapy can also guide you in learning to celebrate your accomplishments rather than downplaying them.

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5. Developing Healthy Boundaries and Assertiveness: Low self-esteem often makes it difficult to set boundaries or express your needs. Counselling helps you develop assertiveness skills, allowing you to communicate your needs and desires clearly and respectfully. Learning to set healthy boundaries promotes a sense of control and self-respect, which are essential for building self-esteem.

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Through counselling, you can transform your negative self-perceptions, build confidence, and develop a stronger, more positive sense of self.

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If you believe you have low self-esteem and feel that counselling might help, then please don't hesitate to reach out to schedule your free initial call using the button below.​​​